yielding...

I am missing my mark as of late. I feel as though i have jumped off my path, and on to another. Not sure what this other is, and i am definitely unsure if its a good one or not.

I think frustration is the catalyst.

I need to let it go where it may, and hope that the other end is a place of familiarity.

But to just let go and take the ride, stop fighting the journey and just breath...

I know where my goal is, that part is clear.

The unknown part is the journey getting there.

I have always thought i have taken the path of least resistance, but maybe that is just not true.

Maybe that path is one of moving blindly forward, of releasing things that have held me back.

I have over thought, resisted things which felt "different" or odd to me.

At times thinking, that is not me, that is not who i am, and quickly dismissing ideas outside the box.

So i am putting on the blindfold, and walking forward. Lets just see where this path leads....

blindly walking forward....

It was a delightful night.

Yes the Chemistry is there and it is real. However, i really am not sure if "everything" else is there as well.

But..... i always have to throw that horrible word in there, he is still not healed.

None the less, i enjoyed his company tremendously.

If it is meant to be, it will.

So moving on.

This is the type of message i get on one of the various sites i am on:

"I want to take from you what I want when I want without having to ask, much less seduce you. That is not to say I do not like to please a woman; I do, because it makes her fall ever more under my power and makes her smile all the yime"

Quite the letter of introduction, isn't it? What woman would not jump at that
offer?

Now he goes on:

"She does not mind being referred to in derogatory terms, and she cannot get upset when other´s subs insult her or abuse her. "

I can't get to this one fast enough. Because you know i do want to smile all the "yime".

I do understand what he wants, and actually it is not that far off the mark from what i want, but the packaging needs some work. Okay a lot of work!

And the truly funny thing is, on this site you can viewed who has viewed you. He never even took a few minutes to read my profile, therefore, he must have just randomly sent out this message. Oh so sad.

Yes, the day i can hit delete on my "meat market profiles", life will be good!

missing out...

The internet has brought so many changes to this lifestyle, it is just incredible to consider how we used to function with out it!

I honestly do not remember that last book i read that was BDSM related.

I read all the Beauty series, many of the Gor series, Different Loving, Screw the Roses, SM101, all prior to the internet. But since then, nothing. My reading time is now spent online. Delving through the blogs, following the links. If there is a subject i want to know about, i just enter it in the search and there i go, everything one could ever want to know right at your finger tips.

And not always are those sources what one could consider as reliable.

It really is sad, and for myself, disappointing.

Now when i do get the opportunity to pick up a book, it is usually not lifestyle related. I get so overdosed on it that i tend to avoid it when away from my computer.

And i worry as well. One new to this lifestyle would fore go the books in lieu of the "search".

And they will be deprived the experience of "feeling" those words as they pass through their mind.

Which for me was very much a part of my experience in entering this beautiful world.