adjusting to change...

Yes changes are a foot... and thus, so is the design of my blog! Although my free time lately has been rather minimal, and believe me when i say, that is just SO NOT a negative. i am just now feeling as though life is getting back on a more even keel.

Although things are early, and try as i may, i am trying not to get too far a head of myself... yes there are certainly changes going on. Adjustments addressed! I have spent a very long time really not answering to anyone and now suddenly.... i am sending a text or making a call ... where i am going, when i return, etc. Fortunately for me, he is a Man of patience and understanding, but i do know both of those qualities can wear thin if tested too often...

And although distance can be challenging, he is only 4 hours away, it could be much worse! But we do speak, email and text through out the day, so really much of the time, i forget about the 4 hour distance. At least until i climb into that big empty bed alone, then 4 hours away seems so very far!

It is an exciting time, but also a difficult time, this getting to know each other!
Often reading too deeply into the others words or actions. However, as is true in any type of relationship, if the lines of communication stay open, if we are given the opportunity to express our thoughts and feelings, to work out issues prior to them becoming issues, then things will flow. And so far, the flow is awesome...

So not unlike the blog, it is a work in progress! I will most likely change it as time allows... the blog that is...

Within the zone...

The comfort zone is a place of refuge for me. I always try to stay within the confines of it. Although as of late, when i dip my toe outside the lines, i always retreat back.

Sometimes the area of what is comfortable and what is not, becomes a bit distorted, and it is not until i am there that i can decide whether i am within the boundaries or not.

Tonight i am testing those lines once again.

Often I think i have no business being in the nilla world, it is not a world where i could find fulfillment. I would always hunger for the D/s world, to turn over the "control", to serve, to submit.

The need for a diversion quite strong, i took a brief leap into the nilla world a few weeks ago. I set up two dates. On the first, he was a cutie, very nice but a bit younger than myself, and the cougar feelings were not that comfortable to me. But #2, a bit closer in age, funny, sweet and intelligent. Comfortable! In this context i am not looking for the Dominant man, only the "Man". An innocent dating adventure with no strings, just a relaxing good time. A much more carefree approach and mindset.

Tonight is date #2 with nilla man #2. He is picking me up on his Harley and taking me to the beach for dinner. It has been 30 years since i have been on the back of a Harley. I am a much different woman since those days, however, i still feel the same level of excitement that i did then.

I am excited about tonight. I need to giggle, to be carefree for just a little while.

I feel no pressure, no stress, which is totally cool.

I am within my comfort zone, but certainly mindful that the lines are just inches away.