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Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Putting the pieces together...

Attempting to identify myself with a particular group is almost impossible for me, other than to identify as submissive. I am slave, i am lil girl, but i am neither constantly. But i am always submissive.

So am i looking for a Daddy or a Master?

To define a Master, would it not encompass a Daddy?

I know i am complex, i am fully aware of that.

He needs to be fully aware and very secure with who "he" is. That is asking for a lot.

It will take an exceptional Man.

My issue with IB was that he was too rigid. He was always being the Master, and not the Daddy. I am certain that for someone he will be an exceptional Master. But for me, it wasn't a good "fit".

It does take more than just knowledge or experience. You cannot create "mindset", nor can you create "chemistry".

With V i already know the chemistry is there. With just a thought, "things" tingle.

I read the things he has written, and i see the "fit".

Clearly the mindset is there.

Currently he is struggling with some "not so good" decisions he has made in his life. The regrets of those decisions, are holding him back.

But the time has come to let go of those regrets.

To open up his mind, his heart to living life as he wants, as he needs.

i am not certain that i am the one that can do that for him, but he needs to be open to the reality that just "maybe" i am.

Just as i need to be open to the reality that just maybe i am not.

Tuesday is approaching, and this lil girl is filled with excitement, with anticipation and a little bit of fear thrown in the mix. All very good emotions...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Today....

Is it an ending, or a new beginning?

About a week ago i came upon a profile, it was fairly long, but i read it completely.

I saw in it glimpses:
daddy / lil girl,
control,
structure,
tenderness,
confidence,
strength,
and
honesty.

I sent a note, taking apart pieces and responding to those particular points.

And the dialogue began.

In just a few hours he will be in front of me, and i will know!

The conversation so far has been quite direct, he has pushed, often quite intensely.

i pull back, then push forward.

He releases then pulls tighter.

we are dancing in unison.

And it fits.

It feels so good!

Just one more step to go...

The hardest, most difficult step of all.

Looking deep into his soul, and KNOWING this is where i belong, knowing that it is he that i have waited for, searched for, craved for so very long.

I am scared.

I am excited.

Does the dance end here, or is it just beginning?