Reaping the benefits....

It is hard to believe i have survived without writing a blog! And really it is not that i haven't had anything to say.... It is simply that my life, well, has been a bit complicated!

Not in a bad way by any means... But just complicated!

i needed time, time for me... Time to collect and sort my thoughts, to breath! Kind of like a time out. And sometimes stepping back, gives us a better perspective. Not one filled with regrets, but of lessons...

And ooooo the lessons i have learned! Each one has in one way or another, delivered me to where i am today... And today, i am happy, i am content.... Overflowing with optimism and excitement... Very much alive and well!

A New Direction....

Life has been rather hectic lately! Family issues have kept me busy, not to mention work....

A million other things have been racing through my mind, about the direction i am taking with my life, my priorities, and exactly what those need to be right now!

My blog has always been something i have written for me to sort things, to put them out there and see what advice others may offer, or simply to help another who is going through some of the issues i have. I have enjoyed writing my blog. I have acquired some wonderful friendships that i would not have otherwise had.

And i have at times felt obliged to write, almost as a necessity, as a form of communicating that "yes i am fine."

But now, i need to pull back from writing, to make it less of a priority! Direct my focus elsewhere....

I will still write, but likely on a less personal front, and certainly not as often!

I will still read and comment, i couldn't survive without knowing what is happening in everyone elses life.

So, no worries my friends, the toy will be fine, and lurking amongst the shadows!

In Closing i leave you with this:

May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!

Some thoughts on "perception"

Over at DV's wonderful blog, he has been exploring the strength of submission, and the perception that the vanilla world holds of D/s! I attempted to respond there but as you can see my response became a bit long winded, (go figure) so here it is...

One conversation of late sticks out in my mind from work.  I work in a retail environment where it is mostly women and the topic of D/s came up! Maddy, an older woman of about 60, married 30 years, lets out a gasp "oh, i think it is just disgusting that whole D/s thing".  A few of the younger woman just kind of snickered and i asked her why she thought that, not meaning it to be entertaining, but for my own education!

She began to recount an incident where she and he husband Dave, were staying in a hotel. In the lobby, she saw a couple where the woman was collared and leashed, the sub referred to her Dom as Sir, and was very subservient in her actions! Maddy explained how uncomfortable that made her feel!

After further exploration, she admitted... She and her husband had not had sex in 4 years! 4 YEARS! sheesh... 3 days without an orgasm and i fall into a miserable unbearable funk!

When we asked if she missed the passion, she admitted she did, then we asked if  Dave, her husband,
really needed her to do that, would she? Knowing that the passion afterwards was going to be the most intense hottest sex she'd ever had... her response was priceless... "there is nothing i wouldn't do for him, short of hurting someone!" You could see in her eyes how she slowly began to understand where the conversation was leading...

I know Maddy is not alone in her misunderstanding of the lifestyle, nor is she alone in living life without ever knowing how truly magnificent love can be! And that is not to say she isn't head over heels for her husband, she definitely is!

If i had never tasted chocolate, how could i possibly ever crave it?

I know for me, i will never stop craving!  I am just not capable... It is not in my genetic make up!

And as horribly as this last one ended, the good times, well they only strengthen my resolve!

I know the beauty, i have felt the beauty, lived the beauty of this lifestyle and will not stop looking
for the real "My Perfect Him"....