It is just a piece of paper!

Being owned...

The property of...

belonging to...

collared by...

All terms designating a non single status!

I do not consider myself in any way as being "single".

I am taken, completely and totally!

And i look at MPH, and feel he too is "spoken" for!

He is mine, just as i am his!

So last night, we are laying in bed, and out of the blue i ask him....

Do you consider yourself single?

Knowing full well the answer i would hear was "No"...

But i was wrong!

His answer was Yes!

WHAT????

Yes i was shocked, i was hurt....

Maybe it is a difference in our "understanding" of commitment!

And maybe it was due to the fact that he was not feeling well,

or that he was dosed up with cold medicine!

Yes that is it, the medicine was clouding his thinking....

So i asked again, figuring he had time to consider his answer more clearly!

But the answer remained the same...

To me commitment is a state of being!

It does not lay in the laws of the land!

He has on several occasions dared me to run down to the court house with him...

But certainly, it is far too early for that!

Granted to say one is "married" does carry a tad more weight,

but only to others on the outside looking in.

And really, they are not my concern!

But he is!

So today i am left confused, trying to understand what exactly he meant!

Feeling sky high....

When MPH finally moved in, i cleared the clothes in my closet to one side, leaving the entire other side for him. This is a difficult task for any woman. Deciding which items to keep, and which to donate to the local charitable foundations.

But for me the most difficult part of that task was determining which shoes to keep!

Yes i must confess i am indeed a shoe whore...

I love high heels!

And over the years i have learned to curb the habit of constant shoe shopping...

Often i go and window shop only, not actually purchasing the shoes, but rather admiring their lines, trying them on, taking a few steps and putting them back on the shelf.

It felt at times like saying good bye to a dear old friend, shed a few tears, then walk away not daring to look back...

But on the official day of MPH's big move in, he came bearing gifts....

One of those gifts in the form of a 7" heel...

And when i put them on, the 5'4" slut suddenly became almost as tall as her 6' tall Master...

The reality is....

Things are settling in!

After being on my own for the past twenty some years, my fears of actually living with a Man once again have calmed.

Of course, the Man makes the difference!

MPH is very easy to live with!

He is not demanding or difficult to be with in any way!

Our work schedules vary enough that we are not constantly in each others way!

But to say i have no worries...

well, that would not be quite right!

I do worry that he may become bored, that the element of excitement we had by being together just a few nights a week, would some how change the dynamic that is us.

That intensity, when we knew we only had a limited amount of time together, that is seemingly different now.

Not a bad different, just different!

There is still intensity, but it is in a way, a much more subdued intensity!

I am still his slut, he is still my Master...

That will never change!

The way he makes me feel... safe, loved and thoroughly owned

that too remains unchanged!

And really, at the end of the day, what else matters....

This place....

Waking up, next to him, knowing ...

He is not leaving, going back to "his" place...

MPH is home!

His arms wrap around me as my eyes begin to open,

he pulls me into him,

Holding me tighter,

as he takes what is his to take.

And i wonder....

Does Life get any better?

Yes i am....

deliriously happy!

A place i never thought i would be...

and a place i never want to leave!

This journey,

and all i have gone through along the way,

to get to "just this place"

Now i know,

it was all soooooo worth it!

And so the new journey begins....

Today begins a new journey!

Life in 24/7...

It is what i have wanted for a very long time...

He is what i have needed for a very long time!

I do know that

But yes i am nervous, and scared, and excited, and very much in love!

Can i handle it or will it be too much?

Am i ready?

Is he?

The lights dim,

the music begins

and this new life, this new way

is born...

No turning back...

Only moving forward!

Never stop dreaming....

My vacation is over, Master has returned to his home, and life is right where i left it a week ago.

Except...

I feel good! Like really good... about him, about us, about life...

There is just a wave of silly happiness around me and i am soaking it all up!

Seven days with him and i didn't get bored or antsy or agitated, i had no desire to flee, to get far away from him. Just perfectly happy with his arms around me, keeping me safe and secure, or watching him from across the room as his focus was directed to something other than his toy, or simply at his feet watching his eyes smile as he planned his next onslaught of his toy...

That in itself is something i thought i would never find.... I was wrong, very wrong....

And as i was catching up in Blogland, i read about the week that   SBF  had and her wannabee suitors on CM, and i am so thankful that those days are far far behind me.  But remember, MPH and i would not have met had it not been for CM, so somewhere in that whole mess of wannabees or couldabeens, there may just be the "One" who can sweep you off your feet, and offer you everything in life you have ever dared to dream of...

Just don't stop dreaming....

Cuz ya know, they do come true....

home safe and sound....

We survived!

Seven wonderful days together and

MPH hasn't admitted to being bored with me yet!

The girl is beyond happy and content!

What a learning experience this trip has been for me!

I have learned so very much about MPH, very important details...

I discovered the extent my Master enjoys driving in a car with his slave,
naked and on display...

I did finally see what the inside of those peep booths look like, and how very little room there is... ummm ... to move around...

And how well my Master can spank and drive both at the same time...

But i noticed something very significant about myself in the process.

I feel owned....

The knowing that i belong to him never far from my mind, or his!

Even when meeting his family,

I didn't feel like the girlfriend, or the booty call...

He was always aware of me and what i was feeling, and he cared, really cared that all was good!

And although we didn't come home with any new tats...

(Yes he wants his slave marked)

The idea is closer than it was before the trip.

Just the details remain unresolved,

the wording, the location, etc

for now at least...

The 7 day test...

I have been a good girl all week!

Yep, i have!

And there is a reason....

A huge test is on the horizon!

Seven days alone with MPH!

I am a bundle of excitement and of fear....

Fear of so much sex, um not just sex, MPH sex....

Hot, intense, raw passionate sex...

With the distance between us, we do not always have much time together.

Usually it is just a few days.

But he always leaves me knowing he has used me well.

Subtle little reminders, a mark here and there, a sore body part here and always there!

Plus, he has assigned me a "packing list"!

Restraints, rope, gag, plugs including the two that just make me wince upon sight...

And then of course a slut outfit, including a pair of 6" Fuck me shoes,

you know the ones...

they look so good, just don't expect me to walk in them...

Yes, fear and excitement!

But even though the blog may be a bit quiet, rest assured, the toy will not be...

She will be screaming and growling and purring and laughing and crying and most

certainly,....

she will be begging and pleading...

And hopefully

he will remember what a sweet little slave i have been all week...

smiles...

Dreams are good to have aren't they?

Holding my breath.....

Fear....

It can hold us tight in its grip.

It has the potential to change us, mold us to its liking.

For me, i try to resist most fears, or to face them head on...

Sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't!

Spiders, snakes and apparently frogs....

Well, not much i can do about those fears!

But other ones, become fears because they are the unknown...

And those i tend to face!

I learn all i can in my attempt to confront them.

When MPH and i initially began speaking, it became quite clear that
breath control was something he rather enjoyed.

For me, i had no experience with it, so it became the unknown, a fear...

Part of this "letting go" is placing my trust in Him, trusting that he will not allow harm to come any where near His toy...

He began slowly....

Gripping my throat tightly, then release....

Then again, a bit longer, release...

The look on his face as he controlled what breath i took, or didn't take....

Yes he enjoys this....

It was obvious!

And with that look, the one that made his eyes sparkle, i felt no fear...

i surrendered my air to him...

his Dominance reinforced,

my submission intensified

The unknown confronted...

The fear, gone!