Life these last few weeks has been very exciting for me. I am not what one would call a relationship junkie, in and out of relationships, especially when it comes to D/s. And although MPH is not my first Master, i am finding many "first" with him which helps greatly to generate these feelings of excitement, as well as a tendency to look beyond today.
In my previous D/s relationship, when i entered into it, it was to learn what these feelings inside were, the need to submit, to explore the kink that was over taking most all of my thoughts. I was 34, and really not thinking much beyond the moment. I was 6 years out of a very unfulfilled marriage, raising a small child, focused much more on motherhood and having a career than i was on having a "Master". And for 13 years that relationship filled my need!
But now it seems like a horse of a different color. I look at MPH and i see a man that i so "need" in my life. Is it just the "chemistry" that i feel with him, that creates that need? Or is it a culmination of timing, of being at a point in my life where "priorities" have adjusted, which in turn creates a different set of needs and wants? Or maybe it is just "Him"?
There are things that are unique to him, the way he holds me when he sleeps, the way he cares for me, even the way he fucks me, all very unique to him. He makes me feel safe, feel loved and most assuredly owned. And for me, to feel those 3 emotions, all at the same time, that is a first!