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Thursday, July 7, 2011

From the inside out....

My few days with my Master have come and gone, and not unlike every time we have been together, we have some how managed to spend pretty much the whole time completely absorbed in each other. Feeling total joy from the inside out...

As i look around the room, i see the remnants of our time together, the toys, the rope, the collar and cuffs... all reminders of how very fortunate i am! The whole time together, the outside world was far away, removed from my mind completely!

And now, he is on his way home and the world is calling me back...

Even though i would love to just "stay" in that place he takes me, i know i have "things" needing my attention. As if i need to separate the "us" in my mind, to step outside for just a bit, and handle those real life things staring me in the face today.

Last night my uncle, my favorite uncle, lost his battle with Cancer. I knew something was going on the way my phone was ringing, all family members, one right after the other, until i finally answered. And if it had happened prior to meeting MPH, receiving that news, the result would surely have been different. i would have cried for him, as i did when he received the diagnosis. But last night, i found i was relieved, he was no longer in pain, and more importantly he was with the woman he spent his life adoring until she passed away a few years ago. Since she passed, it was as if he was simply moving through life "maintaining". His loss evident to all who knew him.

But when the news came, i looked at my Master, and understood much more than i could have or would have previously! Finding that "one" who brings light to our life, from the inside out, well there just isn't anything else that compares!

And although i will miss my uncle terribly, it was those days when he lived life fully with the woman he loved by his side, that i will think of most often. Those days that his smile came from the inside out...


  1. So touching Histoy.. from the inside out is the only way to be..


  2. I'm so sorry for your loss, but...it seems you found something precious, too.

    So I am hurting and happy for you at the same time.

    Be well,

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Aunt last weekend to cancer also. I understand the conflict of having them around verses them being released from the pain.
    My sympathys to you and your family.

  4. I"m sorry for your loss too, and glad that you have the perspective you do. hugs, aisha