Lately i have been asking myself, where exactly is "my" comfort zone.
I know it is imperative for me to be pushed, to find where the comfort zone ends and the "un" comfortable zone begins.
It is not as exact as drawing a line in the sand and saying i will stay over here. It is finding that place where you know nothing bad can happen. Feeling safe is just one of those things that i need. Where that line is, depends completely on the level of trust.
Trust is never something you can force...it evolves! There is no timetable, no predictability factor, it builds with time. It is never easy, at least not with me.
Maybe it is due to the "let downs" i have experienced in my life, i honestly do not know. I know i have become hardened. At times there are questions nagging at me, things i need to know prior to moving forward, a roadblock so to speak. I can not just "let go" of those questions, of those feelings that just maybe, i am not safe.
Those nagging questions need answers, complete and honest answers! Without those answers my only option is to step back, to go into a "protective" mode.
So now, unfortunately, i have hit a roadblock. I have found that uncomfortable zone, and I am stepping back!