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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Holding tight

It is my nature, and of course most submissive womens' nature to always allow him to set the pace of the relationship. There are so many different standards in a D/s relationship that are not really the "rule" in a nilla one, but that is just the nature of the beast, and we accept that, after all it is he who is in control. And for that control that i most eagerly surrender, i accept his decisions as being the best for "us".

He has plans. Many plans to move our relationship to the next level. And yes i am all for it. I want it as badly as he does. Long distance is never any fun. Phone calls, text messages, IM's, they just do not replace the touch, the feeling of his presence, they are simply the bread crumbs, but certainly not the meal. And although he is only 4 hours away, at times it seems so very distant, even though we still manage to see each other at least once, if not twice a week. He is so wonderful about that!

But there are times it feels to me like i have spent the past few years "preparing" for a transition such as this in my life. De-cluttering my life, not holding on to "stuff". All in the hopes that just maybe someday i would meet my "him" and if i was fortunate enough, i would be able to live in a 24/7 without a major amount of
adjustment in my life.

But for him, whether it was an issue of not anticipating finding the "one" he was searching for, or staying very much in the moment and not looking beyond, i am not sure. Or maybe it is simply a matter of "timing". But he does have "stuff" in his life which he needs to attend to prior to us moving forward. And that old Nemesis "patience" is called upon from me once again. And patience and i, are well, very much like oil and water. Not a very good blend!

The realization that this needs to be "cleared" prior to finding room in his life for "us", is one he is well aware of and seemingly quite willing to work on. What we have in the "us" is not something that happens often, i have searched a very long time to find this, and it is without question, what i need and want! It is for me a perfect fit!

And because of the importance of that, i will hold tightly to patience with all i have within me....


  1. Patience is a virtue or so I'm told. Be strong and ride out this bump on your road to happiness.

  2. Being patient can be difficult. Good luck in being patient.