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Monday, June 13, 2011

The voice inside...

Aisha made a comment on my post yesterday that had me thinking... about trusting in ourselves. Trusting that we ourselves know what we need. And i think for the most part we do, we know the basic outline. And for each of us, that outline may vary.  But we also need to listen to our gut, our instincts, that little voice inside!

Recently   SBF  wrote about how she is not "cut out" to be a slave. And i can relate exactly to what she was saying. However, things may change in time, and being open to the possibility of change, is important.

For myself, there are times i think i need a Man to take control all the time, or even the majority of the time, but when i find one who "is that way", i run the other direction. Fear can be a thrilling emotion or it can also be debilitating.

Fear can keep us suppressed, stifle our growth.

I find i have a difficult time just throwing myself blindly forward. I need clear lines. It is not just within the context of a D/s relationship, my life is that way as well. I need to know the direction i am traveling. Flying by the "seat of my pants" is never a comfortable option for me. I like to be organized, to have order.

But "staying safe" and knowing, or "thinking" i know what i need or want, may not always be the best thing for me. Sticking my foot out and over that line in the sand, moving out of the safe zone, allows me release, to grow, and experience things i may have never experienced had i always stayed "safe".

In D/s, what it always comes down to, is him. Our desire to place a well deserved "trust" into his hands. Knowing that in doing so, we will experience new things, things we may have always thought we did not want or like, things outside our comfort zone, but always knowing that with him, we are safe. We may feel fear, but there are times we may need to embrace that fear, and just trust!

Trusting him, yes that is important, but it is also important that we trust ourselves and the decision we have made to place our trust in "him". That voice inside that says yes he is worthy, yes he is capable. Sometimes it may work out and sometimes it may not, but in doing so, we have grown!


  1. I just felt as though I was reading about myself. I can be very OCD when it comes to order, and a schedule, and a plan, etc... Being spontaneous and flying by the seat of my pants doesn't work well for me. Just playing things by ear and as they come, that makes me feel all out of sorts.

    I too am learning to change. I am learning to let go and enjoy some on the spot decisions, rather than having everything planned out. My new partner is the spontaneous type, so least to say she keeps me on my toes. In contrast, I can reign her in a bit and slow her down when needed. It seems to be a good balance, and something that is good for us both.

    Getting outside your comfort zone can be hard, but it is good for us. It enables us to see things differently and enjoy situations we wouldn't otherwise. Even as a Dom, I have to learn to trust my partner and let her show me things that I wouldn't see or do on my own. But, that is how we grow and learn, and the only way to become better for ourselves and our partners.


  2. Ah the wisdom of DV....

    "Even as a Dom, I have to learn to trust my partner and let her show me things that I wouldn't see or do on my own."

    You are so correct.. as always : ). What a difficult task that is, especially from the Dom perspective... It is a fine balance... the give and take of trust!

    Thank you!

  3. Am struggling with this myself - it's so clear in theory, so much more difficult to live... thanks for sharing your thoughts.