My obsession...

Looking back...

it is hard to view this past year

and not wonder...

Did i miss him ...

some where in all the flurry of emails and chats...

Did i walk right by him and not know it?

or maybe...

my expectations

are not really based on reality

or are set too high.

i always hear people say

when you stop looking

you will find.

But the need to find

is so damn strong...

How do you just pack that away?

Ignore the need

when it burns through your soul...

It is to a degree an obsession

Obsession:
the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Yes that describes it...

And obsessions are not really healthy are they?

This search...

it truly is all consuming.

So to say i am obsessed with my obsession...

Yes that is an accurate statement...

But maybe there is such a thing as a healthy obsession...

to know what you want

what you need

Cannot be, by itself, unhealthy...

or can it?