on comfort...

So life is returning to normal once again.

Whatever Normal is...

The CM profile is back up and i am having to weed through the foolishness already...

i do attempt to look for lessons in things...

But in this one there was no lesson.

i honestly felt as if i was as close as possible to what i need.

But i need the weak knees, the fluttering heart, the wet pussy syndrome to go along with everything else.

Without it, it is just too normal.

And normal is the opposite end of the spectrum from where i need to be.

And i have to ask why?

Why normal is not enough, is it something genetic, is it a defect in my being that normal is not acceptable?

i guess in the end its kind of like having blue eyes.

i could put in a pair of those colored contacts and change my eyes to green, but at some point, i would need to take them out and my eyes would still be blue.

And when it really boils down, there is nothing wrong with having blue eyes.

And being comfortable with who and what i am....

Not normal....

There is nothing wrong with that either.