i have had no one pulling strings
no mind fuck...
and i miss that.
it sends my mind in a different direction
One of thought provoking
sexually charged
highly erotic
fantasy.
The mental aspect of this lifestyle is key for me.
without it,
It is almost a vanilla existence.
There are things i can do,
peruse the blogs...
read some hot steamy erotic literature...
surf through pictures...
just lurking through the internet...
But its not the same
as maybe a task...
to feel the "power"
the control...
So out of boredom
i went on a nilla date last night.
Nothing major...
a time filler of sorts...
and i will go out with him again.
And in the back of my mind i will be thinking...
please when you kiss me...
grab a handful of my hair...
pull me close...
let me feel it....
that power, that control
that want, that need...
pull that lil girl out...
But am i just setting myself up?
Who knows....
Maybe deep inside him there is a Dom...
Just hoping to find that lil girl...
time will tell...
Yes the respectful vanilla guys, just not the same.
ReplyDeleteYou never know..
ReplyDeleteHave fun!
K
I wonder what you would find if you scratched the surface of most 'vanilla guys'. I must admit that I am a respectful vanilla guy to the outside world and, if I was on a date, I wouldn't grab a bunch of the ladies hair while crushing her lips, however much I wanted to, for fear of scaring her off! Lets hope for hidden depths of depraved sexuality within your unscratched 'nillas' Histoy. :)
ReplyDeleteohhhh Clive... i am soooo with you on that! :)
ReplyDeleteCould be...and I hope it is! abby
ReplyDeleteYou and I are living parallel lives, aren't we? I'm about to do some vanilla dating too, I think. Sheesh. Yeah, hoping for the secret Dom.
ReplyDeleteI will say, I met my first real "Dom" on a vanilla site. So, yeah, hope springs eternal.
aisha
Yes Aisha, we do seem to...
ReplyDeleteAnd if he isn't A Dom, so what, maybe he will just be a nice human being, and i will enjoy that all by itself.
No expectations... just relax and enjoy...