That is the ultimate goal for me.
But i cannot help but question myself.
Am i capable?
Often things look so good from the outside, and then once inside, it is not at all
as it appeared.
I worry about that.
I have never lived in a 24/7, as a matter of fact i have lived on my own for 22 years, doing things basically my way.
In my previous D/s relationship when i was at his house, it was his way.
I was always fine with that.
But then when i would return home, the D/s ended, and it was back to my way.
And i always knew in the back of my mind, i would be returning to "my way" shortly.
There was no structure, no routines other than those i had for myself.
But i wonder, can i adjust?
Can i fully let go of "my way"?
And maybe i am putting the cart before the horse so to speak.
I do have a tendency to "over think" just about everything in my life.
Maybe it will just flow naturally...
I do not question my desire...
but my ability.
Insecurities are never fun.
I do have tremendous sympathy for who ever he is...
He is definitely going to have his hands full with this one.
I can understand your concerns, Histoy - after so many years with your own space there are bound to be doubts. But, as you say, it may flow naturally and you can ride that tide for a while and hop off if and when it doesn't feel right, or it flows too fast. But 'hands full' of Histoy sounds a very appealing prospect :)
ReplyDeleteHe is going to be one luckly man to have you living with him (when the time comes).
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing woman!!
I agree, when you find the right man for you, he will be getting one hell of a woman. Want to move to Alabama?!?! ;) LOL!
ReplyDeleteI think you are right in that the thought/fantasy of what we want and think about is many times much more exciting then the actual reality of it. I am similar to you and have never had a 24/7 type relationship. I do think about the possibilities of it though, and wonder like yourself how it may really be. these are good thoughts and questions you are asking yourself.
DV
Ahhh Thank you all... You all just gave me such a nice sweet feeling inside....
ReplyDeleteFantasy is always different than reality. But I think that since you are acknowledging that and asking these questions now, you will do just fine with it when the time comes. I think that the ones who go blindly in, unquestioning of the reality, are the people who probably have the hardest time--because they never thought about the reality of it.
ReplyDeleteToy: You just need the right person to take control of you so you won't over think. You would then only think of obeying and submitting and doing what you are told. And once you find that, you will have no worries. You will be the good submissive you want to be.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in your search.
FD