It is difficult when you have learned how to close things up nice and tight, to shift into the "release" mode and start opening those things up again.
He asked questions, about my past experience.
So yes i took the easy way out....
Sort of answered it, but sort of avoided answering it.
I knew he wanted details, he wanted the real nitty gritty.
I completely understand why he wanted that, but i held back.
Coated it twice over with sugar, and sent the answers he wasn't looking for back.
And i have to ask myself why i would do that?
Was it simply for his reaction?
To see if he would allow the half assed attempt?
Well of course he didn't accept it, or should i say he failed to see the cuteness in it?
And if he had, wouldn't my "opinion" of him, have deflated a bit?
Maybe that was what i was looking for.
It is still all very new, so am i still testing him?
Or maybe that is not it at all.
Maybe it is still in keeping some of those walls up...
Staying safely protected within the tight cocoon.
Between those two options, which is worse?
Manipulative or insecure?
I want neither!
And i am certain he will stand for neither.
eeeks.... this girl could be in for some big trouble...
But you know what?
If there were no challenges for him, he wouldn't be happy either...