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Friday, April 8, 2011

in all appearances...

I had a discussion earlier this week, with some one about a line i have in my profile which he felt was rather confusing.

I say in my profile, i do not wish to be a girl friend or a wife.

In my mind it is a way of saying i wish the relationship to "feel" more about the D/s, and less about the other dynamics.

And that is not to say there is a division in anyway shape or form between being a submissive and being a wife or girlfriend. There certainly is not. It is about "feeling" that role, that dynamic, within.

There were times in my previous D/s relationship, that i felt only like the girl friend, or sometimes like the wife, but not nearly enough like the lil girl or the slave.

I need that revised.

Or at a minimum more balanced out.

Ideally i would like to feel more like the lil girl, often like the slave, and only rarely like the girlfriend or wife.

But finding that "comfort zone" is a matter of the personalities involved.

I don't think i could be put into a mold and stay always within the lines of that mold.

As much as i love feeling like the lil girl, i do not think i could stay in that place 24/7, 365.

I think i may enjoy trying, but to "expect" it, would be unrealistic.

And then you have the "real" world image, the view of the family or friends, the associates at work, the neighbors. To them, how will it appear?

But then it does depend on Him, he is the one the sets the tone, the pace, and that is exactly as i need it to be.

That thought is always at the fore front when looking at a "him", and why the gift of laughter is so very important.

If he is too rigid, too stiff, i would feel smothered, at least i think so.

But then i am just a lil girl so what do i know....


  1. Just found you recently, and have enjoyed reading over your posts.

    There is a fine line and balance to be had in what you are wanting with someone. That is why it is so very important to be selective and find just the right person as a partner. You have to have someone that is on the same wavelength, understands your needs, and meshes well with that. But from what I have read, you know this already. That's the beauty of this though. You and your partner can make this be whatever you want and need it to be. Your dynamic can be tailor-made t fit you.


  2. Yes, the gift of laughter is something to be treasured.