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Saturday, April 9, 2011

where is that blindfold....

The desire to play, just play, with no strings, no expectations is a feeling that never stops at my door step.

When i throw myself into something, its more like a dive off a cliff.

Once i let go, there is no stopping. It is a complete free fall.

Maybe its a birth defect, i honestly do not know, but i have always been that way, and at this age i imagine it will never change.

It is not just in the lifestyle, it is everything i do, every relationship i enter.

Nothing is half assed. I see it through to completion, or until i hit the big brick wall.

And it takes a lot of bruises to get me to say "uncle" and walk away.

I imagine that is why i walk so carefully.

Why each possible move is considered before hand, each possible scenario replayed.

And sometimes it would just be better to be shoved off that cliff, but i am too careful for that.

Certainly i miss out on a lot, this all or nothing mindset holds me back from experiencing a great deal.

However, i am powerless to change it.

To look at it as anything less than a "protective mechanism" would be wrong.

If only i could put the blind fold on and jump...


  1. I like this post, it makes a lot of sense to me. I must also complement you on your choice of illustrations..they are so completely hot!
    L ;-)

  2. You might find out putting the blindfold on and jumping is quite exciting. The unknown can be fun.


  3. As long as you trust the one you are with, why not just jump and see where it takes you.


  4. oh Lulu ~ how very wonderful to see you pop up.. smiles,
    thank you...

    Yes, letting go... stepping out side the walls, takes a tremendous amount of trust, and trust takes time, so hopefully with time...