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Saturday, April 9, 2011

where is that blindfold....

The desire to play, just play, with no strings, no expectations is a feeling that never stops at my door step.

When i throw myself into something, its more like a dive off a cliff.

Once i let go, there is no stopping. It is a complete free fall.

Maybe its a birth defect, i honestly do not know, but i have always been that way, and at this age i imagine it will never change.

It is not just in the lifestyle, it is everything i do, every relationship i enter.

Nothing is half assed. I see it through to completion, or until i hit the big brick wall.

And it takes a lot of bruises to get me to say "uncle" and walk away.

I imagine that is why i walk so carefully.

Why each possible move is considered before hand, each possible scenario replayed.

And sometimes it would just be better to be shoved off that cliff, but i am too careful for that.

Certainly i miss out on a lot, this all or nothing mindset holds me back from experiencing a great deal.

However, i am powerless to change it.

To look at it as anything less than a "protective mechanism" would be wrong.

If only i could put the blind fold on and jump...

4 comments:

  1. I like this post, it makes a lot of sense to me. I must also complement you on your choice of illustrations..they are so completely hot!
    L ;-)

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  2. You might find out putting the blindfold on and jumping is quite exciting. The unknown can be fun.

    FD

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  3. As long as you trust the one you are with, why not just jump and see where it takes you.

    William

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  4. oh Lulu ~ how very wonderful to see you pop up.. smiles,
    thank you...

    Yes, letting go... stepping out side the walls, takes a tremendous amount of trust, and trust takes time, so hopefully with time...

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