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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The emotional Sadist....

Today has a message....

Sadism is defined as:
   Abnormal behavior characterized by deriving sexual gratification from
   inflicting pain on others. More loosely, sadism refers to deriving
   any pleasure from inflicting pain.

Aisha blogged yesterday about the vulnerabilities that we as submissive woman are exposed to.

And i do believe there are men who prey on those vulnerabilities.

A type of emotional Sadist.

I do believe i have crossed paths with several of them in my life, not just here recently, but going back many years.

They feed off pain, but the pain is not one of a physical nature but rather emotional.

They are not healthy nurturing men, not men of strong character.

Their concern is not in guiding, or teaching a submissive woman, the beauty of what lies within.

But rather in finding that vulnerability, exposing it, and leaving their mark boldly on it.

They pursue the submissive purely for their own emotional charge, knowing that

nothing will ever become of it.

It was never their intention to actually engage in a healthy and nurturing relationship.

It is simply to placate their ego.

They are extremely cunning, quite unidentifiable from appearances.

They pride themselves on the skill they have developed to expose the vulnerabilities.

If you have read my blog, then you will remember cutie J from back in January.

After speaking with him for months, and  finding a place within my heart to let him in...

i finally found out, he is married.

For him, it satisfied his need to feel needed, wanted.

For me, i felt stupid for falling for him, for believing that the picture he painted was possible, for allowing him into my heart.

He will still occasionally send a text, trying to reignite the pain.

But that is a fire that will not burn again, not for him anyway....


  1. You have described my journey exactly...it seems this lifestyle is full of those emotional sadist.. i am always "on guard" now...

  2. Yes i do understand, but you know, you do come back, stronger, wiser, and with much clearer vision, and really it does give you an appreciation of the good ones, they are there!

  3. Sad that so many predators are out there damaging very precious goods. I hope you will be able to keep an open heart so when the real thing comes along you won't miss it! I guess we are all very vulnerable when it comes to relationships. Do you think those predators ever hurt? I don't.

  4. i have bestfriend who eventually became my boyfriend, but my parents cut our relationship off.. after 7 years, we meet again.. he already have a live in partner.. but he persistently pursue me and told me that he is not in love with his girlfriend..he said he want me back so bad.. i gave in.. he left his girl for me.. but now, he constantly compares his girlfriend to me and he constantly recalls the pain that my parents caused him when we got separated; he also reminds me often of the pain that i caused him when i went into another relationship after our separation.. he tells me i im not worth all his pain, i am just a bitch, even of lesser value to that.. he constantly strikes me with hurting words, yet he tells me that he loves me.. i'm scared of what he is doing to me.. now, even just a little argument leads him to ridicule me...

    1. Zel... You can see it here in your words. You honestly know what you need to do, you need to get as far away from the guy as you can. Its funny how when we are teenagers, we are so certain that we know so much more than our parents about what is good for us, and we make it our mission to prove them wrong. Unfortunately most of the time (not always) they were right. This time they were right to try to keep him away from you, no man that treats you in that way is worthy. Good Luck...