Often i am asked to look within, to find patience and tolerance. Fortunately, my tolerance is growing, i wish it were my patience, but for now i will accept tolerance.
Tolerance is defined as a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own. On this journey, i find i am reaching for tolerance often.
Most of the Dominant men that i know well, have tremendous and often fragile egos. And often they are quite aware of that. So i have become quite adept at dancing around that ego, doing all i can to keep it safely intact.
But, occasionally one comes along which makes it nearly impossible to do the dance. And i feel compelled to open up, to tell him exactly who i think he is.
One of those crossed my path yesterday. And tolerance was no where to be found.
A few weeks ago i found myself in a rather dangerous situation with a man i referred to as AG. Of course i put the blame of the situation onto myself for allowing myself to enter a "space" i knew better than to walk through. I let my guard down.
So in my CM mailbox, i see he has written me a note. Fully expecting a letter of apology for his behavior, i open it and find, to my surprise, a note of introduction! What? Are you fucking kidding me? The man has forgotten how i was fleeing out the door?
So the tolerance flies out the window, and i let go, suggesting he has issues and needs professional help before he physically harms a woman, he is a predator. When a woman says NO it does not mean "take me", most assuredly upon the first meeting.
And i feel better!
I hope i hurt his ego!
But i highly doubt it!
He called me a slut that night. (like that would hurt me?) Yes i am a slut, but a slut for one and only one! I love being a slut, it is not by choice, it is indeed who and what i am. I love sex! I do! The nastier the better! I do not sleep with many men. I can count the number on one hand of those whom i have slept with in the past twenty years. Not many single women can claim that. It was not due to lack of opportunity, it was purely by choice. I am selective, i am careful, and i do have integrity. So i am a slut with morals!
But it is always my choice, and that night he was attempting to take away that choice from me, and for that i have no tolerance!