I want you....
I love you....
you worthless cunt....
They are only words, they evoke emotions, sometimes positive and sometimes not.
We listen to words, we process them, and then we store them.
Some words can make us fly "Good Girl",
some just warm our hearts "baby girl",
some can make us cry "you disappoint me".
Some are just annoying "i have no time right now"
Some have another purpose "touch yourself".
Whatever the words are, what ever the purpose is, our reactions to them are our own.
Some would not cry at "you disappoint me", but i would!
It is a sense of failure. As a submissive woman, i strive for perfection, most especially in myself. I want everyone happy and content! And when i sense a disconnect, it is a failure for me. I internalize it as something i did wrong.
And i pull back...
So much of this search is "word dependent" that it only adds to the vulnerability of who and what i am. I try not to let words eat me up, but they do. And some days it is good to "avoid" this world of words, and just turn off the chat, avoid the text messages and just listen to the music of the real life around us...
I think today is a good beach day....
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