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Monday, February 14, 2011


The purpose of walls is to keep your distance from those you do not want near you, whether it is due to fear, or discomfort from those people, you build walls, often many walls, as a means to protect yourself.

For me i can let those walls down only with trust, and only with those whom i am certain are not approaching with an agenda to benefit only themselves, with no care or concern as to why those walls are there or what they are protecting. The walls are a haven for me, a place i can feel safe, and unfortunately a place only i can control while i am on this search. I do not want to control those walls. I hate that i feel the need to have those walls.

But as a submissive woman, i am aware of my vulnerability, my naivety, my desire to jump heart first, to place his happiness first and foremost, only to have that exploited, or abused.

So i hang on, i watch, i listen, i analyze what is it that he is capable of, or wanting to do with that element of my being?

And when i know its safe, i begin to let those walls down, a little here , a bit there, until finally i can feel it in my very soul, i am safe. He is not looking to "harm" it, his concern is indeed genuine and sincere.

But isn't that why this lifestyle is so damn great? Its that unexpected, the unknown force that allows us to feel safe, to feel trust, to turn that over to some one else which allows us to "release" what it is that is holding those walls in place.

And as each wall comes tumbling down the feeling of freedom grows stronger and much more intense, not just for the one within the walls, but for both! That facilitates the "connect" between a slave and Owner. Knowing that the freedom his slave is experiencing is the freedom he has allowed her to feel. That he has brought her to.

It is funny to use the word freedom when referring to enslavement, but for me that is how i see it! It is a freedom to be who and what i really am inside, no pretense, no hiding behind the "good girl". This is me, this is who i really am. I am a slave and i love that i am a slave. I am a slut, a whore, a piece of property, here but for one purpose, to serve my Master! That is all i will ever be and that is all i ever want to be! That is where my freedom is found, that is where my heart can dance!

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