heart pounding ...

I took a big leap today, i sent V a note on his personal email telling him how i felt, telling him i have pushed the patience button far too long and i am unwilling to push it any longer. This man i met over 4 months ago, spoke to him for maybe an hour, and since that night have not been able to remove him from my thoughts. We have exchanged emails 4 or 5 times, with him always saying the same thing, "yes i am interested however, i am still reeling from my last relationship and need time." So as much as i hate ultimatums, i had to do it.

The conversation was a bit awkward at first then the giggles and chuckles came in.

He was explaining this device to me when i suddenly realized i have one of those. And from there it was great, much more relaxed, just a touch of sexual overtones, just enough.

Plans are in place, i am meeting him next Tuesday. Finally i will find out, if what i felt was real or maybe it was the Captain Morgan.

Nilla dating time was fun but it was really never intended to be anything other than a diversion. The lil girl, the slut, would never be fulfilled in that world. She would always be "missing" something, and trying to explain to a nilla man that he needs to put her over his knee and give her a nice spanking just to keep her centered, or allow her to curl into a ball at his feet while he is reading, may be a tad difficult for her to say and him to comprehend.

My heart is beating...

My mind is swirling...

The girl is floating....