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Friday, March 18, 2011

Caged words...

In looking at the responses i get at the various sites, initially i would receive hundreds a day. To say it was overwhelming is really a huge understatement. Now it is maybe 10 a day. Of those 8 or 9 are really BS and it is clear immediately.

I am approaching a year of truly throwing myself into this search.

I have made quite a few friends through this process, ones where i cherish their wisdom and knowledge. For one reason or another, we knew from the start that we were not a "fit". Usually it is a matter of distance, or age, or maybe "needs" were so different.

Some want to only "talk" and nothing more. And if time allows that is fine with me. But time is not something i have an abundance of.

Occasionally, one shines through, above the others. For this one i make time. He finds his way into my thoughts through out the day. Weaving a path, filled with twist and turns, and often a bit of a tingle.

I wake in the morning and he is the first to enter my mind.

And when i lay my head on my pillow at night, it is his image that lies behind my eyes as i close them.

And i wonder, does he hear the music too?

I would never throw myself "out there" and actually voice those words.

They stay inside, safe and protected. Always hoping the time will come to free those words, to let them feel the air, to release them from their confinement.

I have learned in this journey, that although the "tingles" present themselves, it takes so much more than that to be real.

The true reality is that until i can see his eyes, feel his touch, nothing truly exist beyond my mind.

1 comment:

  1. It must be a difficult struggle sometimes. It's nice to know there are some genuine people around who just wnt to help, and you can usually figure out who they are pretty quickly.