Reconstructing the core..

I was recently reading a blog about orgasm denial, and i must say i completely agree and relate to what she was saying. If i go without an orgasm, i become less sexual. The more orgasms, the more sexual. So what exactly is the point of orgasm denial?

So often in this "online" dating world, i allow myself to enter an almost "fantasy" world of giving a minor amount of "control" over to a man i am communicating with over an extended period of time.

Much less frequently now, than earlier in this search.

Yes i am learning...

And almost without fail they attempt to take it to this place of "cum for me". And always without fail, i reject the idea of having any of them "control" that aspect of my life.

Just something about being 1,000 miles away that loses the "connection".

And that does not translate only into the "orgasm" side, but also into the D/s aspect as well. Sometimes the focus becomes blurred or obscured in such situations.

And i feel that has happened to me here.

Neo Dom left a comment in my posting of 2 days ago, that hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have lost focus of what this journey is all about. It is about the "beauty", about the "love" between two people and the truly magical intensity reached in that D/s exchange. When love is the foundation, it does enter a world of such wondrous beauty, where you "feel" each exquisite thought or action with such intensity, that it touches the very depth of your soul.

And just like with the orgasm denial, when you go without it for extended periods of time, it becomes distant, it becomes blurred. And you forget the beauty.

So thank you Neo Dom for bringing me back to the "right" path, and reminding me of why it is that i am on this journey!