growing pains

I started writing this blog for several reasons, but the main one was to help me become less "shy". I have a tendency to sit back and be quiet. To only answer questions i am asked, sometimes not fully answering them, just providing an answer that would be "good enough" to get by.

At least until i become comfortable enough to open up.

In putting information about myself "out there", when i am asked a question of a personal nature, and i know i have answered that question some where in this blog, it becomes much easier to answer fully and completely.

When the words are written here, there is no hiding.

I am standing here naked, completely undressed.

Open for inspection.

Exposed and vulnerable, it is in itself a form of humiliation.

A much needed humbling of sorts.

Its about the mind fuck, the mental aspects of D/s.

Which for me is the catalyst, it is the root of what i love about this lifestyle.

It challenges me to reach outside of myself, to place my need to be private, to be bashful, or reserved, beneath another ones needs to control.

In doing so, i find contentment, a freeing of my selfishness, of my inhibitions.

It is truly, growth.