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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

the fine art of patience....

 There are days when this "search" is such hard work!  It feels draining!  Yesterday i had a great (so i thought) conversation with cutie J.  I put myself out there to him, opened up about my needs, and .....   i think i scared him! This is the first morning in 3 weeks he has not sent me an early morning message, welcoming in my day.  I welcomed those messages.  They were always sweet, and filled with sentiment!  Initially i took them for granted. reading them and closing them. Then after getting to know him a bit better, i would read them, take in their meaning, and respond in kind. Today, nothing!   Is he thinking about all i said to him yesterday, taking it all in?  I did not say anything like i wanted to go pick out the new wall paper for our new house or anything of the sort. I just told him i need him to take control, to be strong and unwavering, to not allow me to control anything.  I told him i was not looking to get married or be a girlfriend, what i want, what i need, is purely to live a D/s existence. (and yes that is putting it mildly but i didn't want to scare him and say M/s existence) I had questions on his true level of experience, but i never asked for details.  He had a very creative mind, and a very attractive sense of humor which i certainly found quite fascinating. Ah patience! 

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