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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I hate being right

 But it just so happens i was!  I just cannot move forward in anything if there is no chemistry!   It really is just too bad too, cuz no chemistry J is just so perfect!  I hated having to tell him i still did not feel anything for him. Ok so maybe he is not perfect, he is short, actually shorter than me.  I thought it was my 4" heels but no he is short!  Not exactly sure why that is a hang up for me but it is! But that is not all there is, that is not why there is no chemistry!  Who can explain chemistry, either its there or its not and it was not!

 And also now A is well aware of my faltering feelings towards him.  All i could bring myself to say to him today was that dishonesty was something i am incapable of dealing with!  No details of how i knew he was being dishonest, he probably thinks i am some sort of loon!  Oh well!

  So just to recap, i have blown through 4 men this week alone! At this pace i should be able to find him in no time at all!  Certainly by the year 2020!  So time to re activate my profiles!   Or maybe i should wait a day or two.  This just doesn't seem like it should be so damn hard. I am attractive, intelligent, probably not as submissive as some would like, but i am well aware that for the right one, i am! Its just a matter of finding that right one and so far CM does not seem to be the answer!  So many there who really have no clue.   This is not about sex!   It is soo very much more than that!  It is a state of being, a culmination of the mental, emotional and physical.  I am spoiled because i know what it can be, given the right two people in the right situation, it can be more than one could ever dream of!

 It was funny driving home tonight i drove by this little adult book store.  It brought back a flood of memories of R and all the little porno shops we used to stop at, buy a new butt plug, alittle lube, insert it and wear it home.  I would be sitting in the car just dripping in pleasure, hips swaying, smile ear to ear, unless something else was occupying my mouth! Oh yes they were good days....

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