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Monday, January 31, 2011

solar recharge...

I haven't updated the "line up" lately for good reason. I do not know the line up! It is truly in a state of flux right now. So when i know, i will share.

Today is my Friday, and i honestly can not remember when i needed a day off as bad as i do now. That was probably evident from my last 2 posts. I am usually very positive, avoid the dark, but that has been extremely difficult for the past few days. The darkness is there, choking out everything else.

I need the beach, i need the sun to drench me in its warmth. Its been almost 2 months, and my mind is certainly feeling the effects. My morning routines have been compromised, my goals cloudy. I feel i have let myself down. It is that submissive nature coming in to play again. The one that strives for perfection, and when that perfection is not felt, is not achieved, it leaves in its trail, an emptiness. A sense of self doubt. The sun is my drug, it works miracles! It instills focus, confidence and almost a sense of cleansing. It wipes the slate clean, allows me to start over.

I need the sun...

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