This lifestyle is one that can be so very rewarding when the right two energies combine. It is scary at times, it is very erotic at times, it is very emotional at times, but the intensity can be compared to nothing else in the world.
I remember being in grade school, and doing the "trust" test where you are paired with another and fall backwards. Your partners "one" job is to catch you, to insure you do not fall. So of course, i being the class clown, am paired with the class prankster Jimmy. I knew there was no way he was going to catch me, he would attempt to find humor in allowing me to fall backwards and bang my head on the ground. I just knew Jimmy and his ways! So eyes closed, i let go and ... he was there!
So in my "today" world of my search for my Jimmy, i find it to be a daunting task. Too often i let go, and the person in charge of catching me, the one i have determined is capable, is distracted, or maybe not strong enough to catch me, and i fall.
Those bumps on the head seem to take forever to heal.
But i know how to get back up, to dust myself off. And i tell myself this time my Jimmy will be different, he will be focused, he will be strong, he will not let me fall, he will catch me, he will hold me until i am safe and sound.
I wonder is Mrs. Francis my 3rd grade teacher is still around. Maybe she can find my Jimmy...